Archive | March, 2012

“This Way” To The Goal

29 Mar

I’ve always thought that being a supporter meant wearing your team’s colors, traveling to home/away matches, and cheering on your club during the best of times and more importantly during the worst. But never in a million years did I ever expect to see this.

FC Magdeburg, wallowing in last place of the German Fourth Division, have had a slight problem scoring goals this season. To be exact, they’ve put only 16 balls into the net over 25 matches. That’s 11 less than the club just ahead of them in the table, not to mention 5 consecutive matches without scoring. As a result, the home fans took matters into their own hands.

Facing Berliner AK ’07, supporters behind each goal held neon cut-outs of arrows pointing towards the net. They also unfurled a banner which read “Don’t worry, we’ll show you where the goal is!” The hilarity is not just their standing with arrows, but as the ball moved from one side of the pitch in the other, so too did the supporters sprint across the stands to ensure that the arrows continued to point in the appropriate direction.

Proceedings looked bleak until 10 minutes from time when Chris Wright (USA! USA! USA!) scored for the home side, ending a preposterous 558-minute drought…only for Berliner to knock home the winner in stoppage time to snatch a 2-1 victory.

At least the fans will look back at those 10 minutes as being the most memorable of the season and can now look forward to a successful career as traffic cops.

The historic goal can be found at the 7:05 mark.

Millwall Supporter Flies Solo

28 Mar

Nobody enjoys losing, especially a paying customer at a sporting event. A sense of time wasted sets in, a stomach in knots thinking about what could have been, and in extreme cases of stupidity the need to commit an act of violence. Sometimes defiance substitutes nicely for flailing fists and in the case of one lonely Millwall supporter,  standing up to the thousands of traveling Leeds fans was an acceptable alternative.

In response to his team losing 1-0 at home, this man took on the entire North Stand hurling profanities and eventually issuing a “slit your throat” sign. All the while, the Leeds fans embraced this moron by serenading him with a few cheeky songs of their own to illuminate how completely insignificant his actions were.

You lost buddy so just deal with it. Your team is shit anyway sitting just a few points off relegation in England’s second division. There is really nothing more pathetic than a desperate supporter seeking an upper hand in defeat.

WAG Wednesday Part 25 – Sam Cooke

28 Mar

Young, promising, athletic, versatile, a salary of £50,000 a week, and an integral part of Manchester United’s present and future. What more could Chris Smalling ask for? How about Sam Cooke. Seems only logical that such an up-and-coming talent would attract a bombshell like Cooke, right?

Not really. He’s f*ck ugly. And no, she’s not attracted to his personality. Cooke frequents The Sun on a weekly basis posing half naked or in many cases completely topless. So it’s safe to assume she wouldn’t recognize personality if it hit her in the face.

But this shouldn’t be an indictment of her poor taste. Whether it’s Chris Smalling, David Beckham, Justin Bieber, or the Pillsbury Dough Boy, she’ll still melt your face no matter who she dates. Continue reading

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